today (5 may 2009) is my last paper for my second semester. after exam finish, i drive my coursemate (li hong, sook lin, hui ying, wan ting) to sunway. we go sing k and then watch movie. very tiring because i abit no mood. just got the news that i cant stay in college for the next semester... something frustraing me and my mind was exhausted.. whole day was forcing myself to enjoy.. aih.. sigh.. really upset
then my roommate seems so desperately 1 2 go outing tml. aih.. i understand i'm a big water fish to let them get me to fetch them jalan sini and sana.. aih.. i really wish to reject them, i dun1 to spoilt their mood. so forcing myself to accept whatever they want from me
tml morning gonna send this laptop to low yat fix it. sad.. 2 weeks times lost my laptop.. T_T somemore gonna force myself to go outing wif my roommate in that kind of mood. really very sad...
tonight i got insomnia.. dunno is because the weather very hot, or i'm over exhausted or too worried for tml schedule.. or something bothering me.. i know that most probably is that thing bothering me, but i dun dare to say it out to anyone. it always frustrating my mind and i really endure it all the time... whever i want to sleep, i will think of that thing. but tonight i cant stop my mind to think of it again. i really dun hav d guts to tell anyone. i know i shouldnt say it out. it's a forbidden. i... really wish i can tell somebody so that i wont be that suffer. but the fact tellng me that i'm gonna keep the secret till i die.
god.. i'm really suffering everynight.. feel like wanted to cry, but dunno what i'm crying for.. i dun hav d guts to cry..
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