test ting

Moody Again

right after 2010 cny, start alot asisgnment and exam.
felt sooooo stress whenever my coursemate kepe ask me how 2 do the assignment
make me feel like what also i don;t know after a month+ lecture

and weird getting weird
i thought i will fall in love wif other guy and stop thinking him
but
why when i close my eyes, i still can see you?
a clear scene pop out in my mind
that time you fetch me out and fetch me back hostel
you wanted to kiss me but i reject
cause i too shy to accept
did that make you feel embarrassed?
i'm really sorry if do, but deep in my heart, i really love you

it's been a year for us to separate edi
it's pretty hurt when i know i'm nobody for you now
but what can i do? everything just out of my control
no matter how hard i try, i know i sure have to endure the pain until i get to the next relation
but.. i doubt if i really can move on with other guy
coz i really cant forget every second that we have spent togather

sorry to myself. i'm just a failure.
now, i don't have other to talk with, because my best fren is wif u, my another very best fren sure will scold me n stop in touch wif me if i tell him this..
i'm... lost

#14

after a great celebration with my family at Jaya Palace, I suppose to be on the sky, but why do you want to interrupt me again?

a very good moment with you
happy
we are back together
we start talking like those days

"walkin in the sun ~~"
my alarm pull me back to reality

when your shadow can disappear from my mind?
really pain
i know you have forget me
i have become a nobody for you
ur eyes only see her

please god
i need your power
to relieve myself
i really in pain now

enduring

You again

You always give me pain
and hurt me
why you want to be so selfish
i don't want to blame it's your fault
afterall the problem is me

but can you just be more kind to me
stop hurting me
i really pain in my heart
you two selfish fella
can you all just stop showing in front of me
i hate you two!

Dumb Ass Hole

yea...
i'm a super dumb ass hole
i cant hold my feeling
and i text him
ask him something silly

and what i get
is a word
HURT

i think what he said last time
is a big lie
and i should have forget him
let him get out from my mind

i'm a dumb ass hole

Festival

There are a lot of chinese festival in a year
And everyone seems enjoy to celebrate it

Today is MoonCake Festival or ppl called Mid Autumn Festival
Went to my friend BBQ party
then go back home before 12am

When I back home
I start asking myself
why we celebrate these festivals?

I'm pretty sure
Chinese always take "Union" as a very important things
but I can see
This Union always happened for Friends Reunion
not Family
Today i quite wish to celebrate with my family member
but my parents and elder sis went to wedding dinner
my 2nd sister went to somebody party
my 2nd bro.. i dunno where is him cause i dun see him since i back from college
n myself went to fren's party

why not a family reunion but a fren reunion?
have ppl misunderstand what a festival purpose?
i can understand some ppl cant celebrate with family because of certain reason
but why my 2nd bro n 2nd sis cant celebrate wif me?

pathetic night..

Bad Month

recently many bad things happened to me
1st, both of them suddenly get away from me
2nd, my beloved 2nd bro getting more sick (christian slave)
3rd recently i've being conned for rm700
4th mum get rob
5th i didnt manage to do my revision

why is this happening to me??
i'm so so so sad
nobody there for me anymore
i dunno who to share my things anymore
i lost my direction

Recycle

Paper can be recycled
Does my life have being recycled now?
Why is the same thing happened again?

I'm afraid to lose a friend like them
yet
I have no choice and don't know what should I do
to avoid the same ending

I am really
out of my hand
out of my mind
nothing just go right

I understand their feel
therefore
I should be more understanding
and start to adapt myself
though I am suffering as what they suffer now

Weird Dream

yesterday is my 1st day for the 3rd semester.
that night so difficult for me 2 fall sleep.. having insomnia..

it's weird this morning i find out i have two dream
one is him..
i saw him, n in d dream, i try to take my guts to discuss our problem, but he dun1 continue wif d topic.. make me so sad.. but i'm happy coz i finally can see him(in d dream)...i think we have been few months didnt meet before..

the second dream more weird..
unexpected.. i dream him.. seeing him quarrel wif his gf.. n then recover back..

it's really weird... weird dream..

My Holiday

actually i'm quite lazy to write blog again, but since very sien now, so decide to post something up

after exam, my holiday begin! first we go sing k in sunway wif my coursemate. then go lang tengah trip with my secondary friends.(it's really amazing trip. LOVE IT!) then went to Pahang(tasik bera, deer land, elephant farm,kuantan) and Melaka jalan jalan with my god mum, tenji buffet. then trying to mix well with all my secondary friends by going to lots of small places.

at lang tengah

at ara damansara (Full House)Tasik Bera

i have also spend alot money including lang tengah trip(rm400++),shopping(rm400+), laptop(rm2000+++) and others(rm150+).. duh.. all also output.. no input
those trips is really fun and happy though..

but.. this holiday, whenevr i boring, i start to become stupid again.. recall something that i shouldn't think about it. how stupid am i, always hoping for something that will never come true, i even dream about it.... how disappointed am i when i wake up n everything disappear...

when i will really forget? it's not i cannot forget it. maybe, i'm just too stuborn to let it go...
i'm hopeless..